I discovered Kink Cafe the way most people in the kink world find community—by word of mouth. I’d been part of the “lifestyle” in New York for a few years, finding my footing by attending sex parties and kinky bingo nights. Which is why I was in Baltimore to visit the restaurant, which has gained popularity among East Coast foodie fetishists since opening last fall.
When I arrived at the brick building, nestled between a nonprofit and a gas station, chef and owner Nicole “Daji” Aikens was bustling around, rotating between a small dining room and a smaller kitchen. She is meticulously organized, a trait she brought over from a career in law enforcement.
“My prep has to be immaculate, so I don’t get behind,” she said, the rhythmic sound of a knife dicing vegetables cutting the quiet.
Guests who have visited a sex dungeon, or have seen one on Netflix, might notice similarities: Ruby red walls, black decor, and lots of leather. Most are Aikens’ personal touches: a collar purchased at a shop in New York’s West Village, high heels affixed to a wall, a nod to her former life as a dominatrix, and paddles of all shapes and sizes. The object that draws the eye most is the St. Andrews cross, an X-shaped structure meant to restrain, that rests in a corner near the kitchen.
The space itself emulates something akin to an actual dungeon, and the menu’s theme reflects what you’d see (or experience).
Aikens doesn’t eat meat, and most of the menu is pescatarian. There’s the “Chastity” shrimp lo mein, a take on the Baltimore carry-out staple, which features broccoli, diced onions, and shrimp slathered in soy sauce. The “Shibari” jerk branzino is grilled bare with a jerk rub, a scoop of spiced yellow rice and broccoli resting atop it. The “Bondage Salmon” is baked, served with a sautéed array of zucchini, carrots, and green onions, on a bed of rice.
What the restaurant represents to its supporters (and those hesitant-but-curious) is a shift in public interest in, and acceptance of bondage and discipline, dominance and submission, and sadomasochism (BDSM). Indeed, a 2019 international review published in The Journal of Sex Research found that more than 40% of people surveyed had BDSM-related fantasies, and about 20% had engaged in BDSM.
People sating their desires for food and company no longer need seedy hotels or hastily arranged Facebook events, now that brick-and-mortar spaces like Aikens’s restaurant exist. However, it remains to be seen how sustainable kink-themed food establishments are.
